The Internet is Not a Dump Truck

So who is ready for the Information Supertube revolution?  I know I am!

This past weekend could’ve been really bad, but it turned out better than I thought.  I learned some things about a few people I know, and had a good bit of fun with the new Luling Crew.

I probably need to start taking/posting pictures again.  It seems I’ve been posting stuff lately that doesn’t really deal with my personal life.  I guess that’s good since I don’t exactly have an exciting life.

I’ve been kind of redoing my wardrobe lately.  Nothing too different…just a slight change.

Buckle is now my favorite store to buy clothes.  That place is awesome.

A Day in the Life of Steve Ballmer

I posted this on the Luling Crew forums a while back. It’s a story about Steve Ballmer. Enjoy?

* * *

Steve is awakened by his Microsoft© Error Noise alarm clock. He backhands the clock off of his desk and it Microsoft© crashes into the wall. He rubs his eyes, careful not to mess up his Microsoft© cybernetic eye implants, because he doesn’t feel like seeing blue all day. A quick gaze across the bed indicates that his Microsoft© wife is already up, and his nose tells him that she is in the kitchen cooking his breakfast, which is where he thinks a woman should be. Carefully, he climbs out of bed, making sure to pick up his Microsoft© sledgehammer, so he can start his morning off right – by beating the sh!t out of a Mac Mini.

“It feels good to be the f**king king!” he said.

“Steve, your Microsoft© breakfast is ready!” his wife called.

“B!tch, I’m going to f**king kill breakfast!” he hollered back as his kids darted past him to the kitchen.

“Kids, have you used Google today?” he asked.

“No sir!” they replied.

“Good, because I’m going to f**king kill Google!” he said, and threw a Microsoft© chair at his wife.

Live Those Songs Again

Wow, yesterday was totally amazing.

I left work at 1 and went to Houma. My brother rented a limo for the 11 of us (his girlfriend, employees, friends, and me, and we headed to Drago’s on veterans. It was great (first time I’ve tried oysters). Then we headed to the New Orleans Arena. He got us a suite, and by the time we got there, Dierks Bentley was almost starting. He was good, but not fantastic, and it was a pleasant surprise, since I didn’t know that he was opening. For about an hour, he sang, and then they started moving around equipment.

When the highlight of the show finally started, the curtain was still up, but when Kenny hit the chorus, it dropped, and he wasn’t on stage. Instead he popped up in the middle of the crowd and sang “Summertime,” and then rode above the crowd to the stage. He put so much energy into the concert, it was totally amazing. He even brought out Uncle Kracker for a few songs, which was a totally unexpected (and welcome) surprise. They even covered Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” together (I was hoping Kid Rock would come out, but he didn’t. He sometimes shows up at Kenny’s shows).

All in all, it was fantastic. He sang for about 2 and half hours nonstop, and it was just totally amazing. You could tell that he was having fun and he was so (very, very) good live. The crowd of ~7 thousand loved it.

And it cemented Kenny Chesney as my favorite country singer besides Garth Brooks.

Best. Concert. Ever.

Chalk Up Another One For Apple

Wow, talk about misinformation. I have long credited Konfabulator for the invention of widgets, as have a lot of other people (including Konfabulator themselves the day Apple showed the dashboard for the first time). Well, I just found out that, *gasp*, Apple came up with widgets first. Yes ladies and gentlemen, surprise surprise. Mac OS had widgets in 1984 (I believe System 1), making Apple definitively the creator of widgets.

Some dissenters may point to this article in dispute that neither copied off of the other, but the point remains that Apple did not copy off of Konfabulator. :)

Paul Thurrott Is A Moron

(I normally don’t resort to personal attacks, as I think they are not necessary to get my point across and will usually only degrade someone’s points, but this guy deserves it; he’s just that stupid).

For those of you that don’t know anything about Paul Thurrott (take note that he is actually respected in some corners of the Internet), consider yourself lucky that you haven’t had to read through his blather. But now, I’m going to subject you to some of it.

On Thursday, July 13th, he wrote this:

Win 98 vs. Mac OS 9
The normally reliable Todd Bishop makes a good point, but trips up in one key area:
On CNet’s Buzz out Loud podcast yesterday (a good daily tech-news show, if you’re not familiar with it), one listener called in with an interesting response to complaints about Microsoft ending support for Windows 98 and Windows Me.

“That would be like complaining that Apple no longer supports OS 9,” said the caller, Mike from New Jersey. He concluded: “Come on people, get with it.”

It is true that Windows 98 came out more than a year before Mac OS 9. But in response to the call, co-host Tom Merritt pointed out that Mac OS 9 doesn’t need regular security updates, unlike Windows 98.

I think it’s also worth noting that there have been five releases of Mac OS X in the past five years, since Microsoft released Windows XP.

In “off the top of my head” order:

1. Windows XP Professional x64 Edition
2. Windows XP Media Center Edition
3. Windows XP Media Center Edition 2004
4. Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005
5. Windows XP Tablet PC Edition
6. Windows XP Tablet PC Edition 2004
7. Windows XP Home and Professional N Editions
8. Windows XP with Service Pack 2 (SP2) (absolutely a discrete Windows version)
9. Windows XP Embedded
10. Windows Fundamentals for Legacy PCs
11. Windows XP Starter Edition

Please don’t try to tell me that the sum of the changes in each of these products is not greater than the changes that Apple has made to Mac OS X since 2001. It just ain’t true. Microsoft may not be as good as Apple as calling out every comma as a new feature, but let’s just stop the silliness about 5 year breaks between Windows releases. That isn’t what happened. There’s been a five year break between truly revolutionary new Windows versions, but many of these releases–Media Center, and Tablet PC anyone?–include huge and innovative functional changes.

All that said, yes, Windows 98 requires all kinds of security patching that would never have been an issue in Mac OS 9. But there are also 75 million people still using Windows 98 worldwide today. Apple would kill to have that kind of usage statistic on a brand new OS, let alone one that’s being retired. That, more than anything, explains the true difference between the Mac and Windows worlds.

Honestly, how this guy gets any respect at all, I have no idea. He should clearly be defined as a moron, no matter what biases you have towards any operating system.

Observe number 8 in his list of “Windows operating system releases.” So, when you bundle security fixes with an operating system it becomes a new operating system release, does it? And only 5 releases of Mac OS X in the past 5 year? Hmm, it looked like you really FUBARed that one, Paul. So we can count Windows XP with SP2, but not OS X 10.0 – 10.0.4, 10.1 – 10.1.5, 10.2 – 10.2.8, 10.3. – 10.3.9, and 10.4 – 10.4.7? Gee, Paul, I count 38 releases of Mac OS X according to your own logic.

And if you check out number 11, Windows XP starter edition, you can get the feeling that now he’s just getting desperate.

The fact is that every single operating system of the 11 he mentioned were variations of Windows XP. Can I say that when Apple released Front Row, it should be counted as a new OS? So, 39 releases of OS X now.

And Paul, you dare to tread on the “security by obscurity” argument? Come now, you don’t believe that drivel, do you? Ever heard of Microsoft IIS? There’s more exploits for it than there are for Apache, even though Apache is more widely used. Right now, OS X and Linux represent a challenge to those that wish to see it fail, and/or those that write malware. There have been no self-propagating OS X or Linux viruses; only proof of concept ones. While I’m absolutely sure it’s possible to make one, at this time, they just don’t exist. So, don’t make me laugh, Paul.

Windows in the right hands is fine (like yours, I’m sure), but in the hands of the general public, it’s proven to be a disaster. I work at a computer help desk at a decent sized university and the problems I’ve seen originating from Windows security vulnerabilites are just staggering. I’ve seen Windows installations become corrupted somehow, where the only way to fix them was a reinstall. Yet, the worst problem I’ve had with OS X has been removing someone’s preset PPPoE settings so they could connect to the Internet now that they lived on campus and didn’t use that PPPoE connection.

I’ve never seen a Linux kernel panic in person. How is it that Windows drivers (made by Microsoft or not) can cause so many Windows kernel panics, yet Linux drivers don’t? And don’t get me started on the “invincible” registry, as I’ve once heard it called. Microsoft’s impossible attempts at backwards compatibility are laughable, at best.

I’m not even saying this because I hate Microsoft. Quite the contrary, in fact. I just hate total fanboys (read: Paul Thurrott) that try to appear like they are fair and that they are a good source of information.

I use Windows XP on a daily basis by choice. I’ve got Linux installed, sure, but I’d rather deal with the occasional Explorer crash, which is usually the worst problem I have with Windows, than having to learn endless terminal commands or edit endless configuration files just to use the software I want to use on Linux.

So as a computer enthusiast, not as an OS X, Linux, or Windows enthusiast, you, Paul Thurrott, fail at knowing what the f**k you are talking about.

Borderline Political

I have a newfound respect for Ann Coulter after seeing her on some show called The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch on CNBC. This guy threw some curve balls at her and she responded pretty well. This isn’t just based on the foundation of her answers, rather on the way she handled the interview.

I wonder if Jon Stewart has ever interviewed her. I’d like to see that! ;)

How to Use the Internet(s): A Guide For the Less Tech-Inclined

So, you want to use the Internet(s), eh? Well, that’s great news! However, using the Internet(s) can be difficult if you don’t know some of the basics, so let’s take a look at what you’ll need to know to get started on your adventure.

It’s important that you use a browser that best suits your tastes, but first, what is a browser?

The web browser is your portal to the Internet(s); your Internet(s) “surfboard,” if you will. It will guide you as you conquer the whitecaps, swells, and wake of the Internet(s) and its traffic.

So now that you know what the Internet(s) is/are, you’re probably wondering which browser you should use. Well the answer is simple: all of them! Simply open Internet Explorer, Opera, Firefox, Netscape, Safari, iCab, Shiira, Camino, w32.backdoor.trojan, w32.Esbot.E, w32.Netsky.E@mm, Konqueror, and Epiphany, and then navigate to the site you’d like to visit in all of them, and for each site you visit, pick whichever browser displays the site the best, and use that one. See, was that so hard?

IP Addresses
Your IP address is a very important tool while you are browsing the Internet(s). It contains information such as your ISP, your computer’s full name as identified on your home network, your home address, your maritial status, your profession, your siblings’ sexuality, and whether your house was built with plywood or that cheap corrugated crap, so make sure no hackers (see the next section for more information on hackers) obtain it!

Hackers, also referred to as “l33t h4x0rz” in underground black-hat hacking communities, are people that post messages on online forums with proclamations such as “o rly well i m n ur comptr n i am taeking over it wit mah programz.” Be very careful of hackers, as they tend to pose a threat to your computer’s security and well-being!

Rumors on the Internet(s) are quite possibly the biggest threat facing the world today. “Rumor mills” are people and/or organizations that start these insidious “rumors.” Their only goal is the destruction of mankind, starting with the Republican party.

Good luck if you run into rumors. Make sure you have an anti-rumor scanner installed to keep you safe.

Sean Connery
A force of justice on the Internet(s), Sean Connery is possibly the greatest ally of all that is good in the world, on or offline. He patrols the Internet(s) every waking second of his life eliminating rumors, stamping out eBay Escrow scams, stopping spam e-mails, and making sure porn is freely available to the public.

If you ever run across Sean Connery and he senses evil in you, your chance of survival is 0.0% with no probability of change.

E-Mail and Spam
E-Mail or “Electromagnetic Anti-Rumor Interference Loop” is the world’s largest anti-rumor communication service, led by Sean Connery.

Spam is a form of illegitimate e-mail, such as a message from a friend or a letter from a family member that somehow gets mixed in with legitimate, anti-rumor e-mail, such as offers for better sex drives, larger penises, and coupons for 30% off of your next purchase of $50 or more at If you see any of this illegitimate e-mail floating around, delete it immediately.

If someone from Nigeria offers you money for your laptop on eBay, you’d better accept their offer right away! Nigerians are well known and highly respected in the online auction community.

Philip DiStefano is a frequent contributor to the Daily Internet(s), a technology news website focused around giving consumers the news they want without all the hassle of reading through crap first

The Fast and the Hilarious

Uh…yeah…0.3 megapixel phone camera for the lose…however, Keith Carroll for the win.

This weekend Keith, Gamble, Becca, and myself went to see Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. It was pretty good for a cars and girls movie. Saturday night Keith bought the first two Fast and the Furious movies in a box set and we watched 2 Fast 2 Furious, which was also pretty good. And then Sunday we went to see Superman (ZOMG MOVIES) which was not as good as X-Men 3, and I’ve yet to decide if it was better or worse than Tokyo Drift.

Oh Fueled By Ramen/Decaydence, why do you have to be such an awesome record label? Panic! At the Disco, Cute is What We Aim For, Paramore, and Fall Out Boy (-_\) LOL Internet?.